Twenty-five percent of American couples have sex only one time per month — or less, according to new research.
The new poll of 2,000 U.S. adults in a relationship or married found that keeping the spark alive can sometimes be a challenge, as 14% of those polled say their sex lives are “unsatisfying.”
However, according to the results, the average couple surveyed does the deed four times per month for 18.6 minutes each time — that adds up to 15 hours over the course of the year.
Gen Z leads the charge, clocking in the highest number of times per month (5.3), with millennials not far behind (5.1).
High General Satisfaction Among Surveyed Couples
And despite an unhappy few, 71% report being satisfied with their sex lives, with 43% being “extremely satisfied.”
The survey was commissioned by LELO and conducted by Talker Research as part of a robust trend report taking a magnifying glass to the intimate lives of American couples.
The findings unearthed a strong correlation between how behavior outside the bedroom can translate into more satisfaction in the bedroom.
The average American polled reported having 2.4 date nights with their partner every month, with a stunning 27% saying they have zero date nights per month.
When this data was split out by frequency of sex, the study showed that couples who go out together more frequently tend to get steamy in bed more frequently.
Of those polled who say they have sex “very frequently” (classified as 8+ times per month) were also the group that has the most date nights — 3.5 per month.
Conversely, Americans surveyed who have sex “rarely” (classified as 0-1 times per month), also have the fewest number of romantic nights out — just 1.2 times every month.
This revelation also translates to how frequently we communicate with our partners via text, as according to the data, texting more frequently results in having sex more frequently.
Those who have sex “very frequently” were also the most likely group to say they text their partner “constantly” (35%).
By comparison, those who say they “rarely” have sex were also the least likely to stay in constant text communication with their partner (9%).
“In the last two decades our lifestyle has accelerated to a dizzying, sometimes overwhelming pace, and our dependence on technology is exacerbating this,” said Luka Matutinovic, chief marketing officer of LELO. “With the modern way of life getting busier by the day, maintaining a satisfactory life has never been more important than it is today, as it provides significant physical, emotional and psychological benefits to individuals.”
Experimentation can help rekindle the fire in a relationship and Americans are no strangers to it: The survey showed that half of those polled (48%) have experimented with sex toys in the bedroom.
Gen Z was found to be the most likely generation to have experimented with sex toys (61%), followed by millennials (54%).
On the other hand, baby boomers were the least likely, with only 26% saying they’ve ever tried sex toys.
The Most Common Enhancers: Vibrators and Lubricants
Vibrators (71%) and lubricants (65%) were the most common additions to intimate moments with those who have ever experimented before.
And long distances are becoming less of a barrier to getting intimate: A third of those polled (33%) have sexted with their partner, while 16% have tried out FaceTime sex.
Younger Americans are paving the way for virtual romance, with 55% of Gen Z Americans saying sexting is common in their relationships, and 60% saying they’ve even shared nude/intimate photos with their partner.
“Despite differences in how different individuals and generations are achieving this, the fact that the majority is still taking their time to focus on intimacy, open communication, and savoring sensations and staying present with themselves and their partners is making us feel optimistic about the future,” said Matutinovic. “By focusing on this, individuals can break free from the always-on-culture and cultivate a more balanced, fulfilling life — and we are always here to help.”
Access to the full trend report here.
Top Ten Life Factors Getting in the Way of Sex
- Fatigue 38%
- Different sex drives 29%
- Health issues 29%
- Work stress 27%
- Kids/parenting demands 22%
- Household responsibilities 20%
- Financial stress 20%
- Emotional distance 19%
- Differing schedules 18%
- Technology distractions 9%
Research methodology:
Talker Research surveyed 2,000 Americans in a relationship, evenly split by generation (500 Gen Z, 500 millennials, 500 Gen X, 500 baby boomers) who have access to the internet; the survey was commissioned by LELO and administered and conducted online by Talker Research between Sept. 24 and Sept. 30, 2025. A link to the questionnaire can be found here.
To view the complete methodology as part of AAPOR’s Transparency Initiative, please visit the Talker Research Process and Methodology page.