It’s hard to imagine anything about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce being relatable. She is, after all, the most famous pop star in the country; he’s one of the biggest names in the NFL. However, there’s one detail Swift recently shared about their whirlwind romance that any of us nonfamous folks can learn from—and it’s a green flag worth paying attention to the next time you’re dating.
In Wednesday’s episode of Kelce’s New Heights podcast, the “Cruel Summer” singer offered a rare, highly anticipated glimpse into their much-discussed relationship, including Kelce’s trait that impressed her most early on: “A huge green flag is that Travis has had the same friends since he was probably four years old,” Swift said. “He’s incredibly good at maintaining friendships. He’s so loyal, and his friends are equally loyal, and they’re just the funniest, most hilarious group of people.”
At first, this might sound like a sweet, throwaway detail. But the ability to keep long-term friendships is actually more than just wholesome—therapists say it’s a powerful indicator of how someone can show up for their partners too. Here’s why.
Why your partner’s friendships really matter
According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a New York City–based clinical psychologist, “long-term friendships are living, breathing proof that someone can invest in, repair, and nurture relationships over time.” Props to Taylor, who was clearly onto something.
For one, companionships that span decades don’t survive on convenience or luck alone. Whether it’s distance, conflicting schedules, the occasional argument, or—let’s say—suddenly stepping into the spotlight as a pro football player, maintaining old bonds requires commitment and effort. “It shows how they value authentic connections, can weather conflict, and stay committed through life’s inevitable ups and downs,” Dr. Romanoff tells SELF. “It also means they prioritize depth over novelty,” suggesting that they don’t just chase the next exciting fling or drift towards new connections that are fun but ultimately fleeting. Instead, they invest in the small, perhaps more boring (yet necessary) gestures that keep a friendship alive: checking in when life gets hard, remembering little details that matter, and showing up consistently.
How someone prioritizes their platonic relationships also says a lot about their moral character, Kimberly Horn, EdD, MSW, psychologist and author of Friends Matter, for Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship, tells SELF. Someone who keeps companions close through life’s curveballs—or, ahem, after a career peak, sudden fame, or an impressive glow-up—is likely a loyal and grounded person. In other words, they’re probably not the type to take advantage or suddenly ghost after a minor disagreement.
Rather, “they’re more likely to accept people as they are,” Horn says. After all, “they’ve seen their friends through high points, low points, all the messy in-betweens—and still stayed.” So in their love life, that usually translates into being a partner who can handle change, embrace personality quirks, and value you as a whole—not just the shiny, glamorous parts they see during the honeymoon phase.
So how can this be applied in our own dating lives, then? While it’s tempting to focus on the typical markers of a “good” relationship—swoon-worthy dates, a bouquet of flowers, and words of affirmation—sometimes the quietest clue to someone’s character is how they maintain the platonic connections that existed well before you. It’s the kind of quality that could easily inspire a love song…or a whole album.
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