Sundays are for finally getting around to starting Peaky Blinders on your never-ending odyssey through all of the west’s most laddish crime dramas. World War 1’s just ended and every bloke’s got PTSD from the trenches. Tommy Shelby and his brothers have returned to Birmingham, which probably hasn’t helped their spirits. Cue lots of running around in flat caps and suits punching other blokes in flat caps and suits. Hours of fun so far, though I’m only a few episodes into the first series, so anyone who posts spoilers in the comments is getting slapped by a hat adorned with razor blades.
Anyway, it’s a weekend, so let’s stop punching blokes for two seconds and head down the pub. Two whiskeys, please. Cheers, luv. Cor, did you see the face on her? Looked like we distracted her from keeping an eye on some other blokes in flat caps. We’ll sit here. Oh, someone’s tucked a newspaper under the seat. It’s this week’s. I Need To Know Everything About Fire Emblem’s Nun With A Gun. That’s certainly a headline. You know what, I’m gonna take a look at what this Jade King at TheGamer’s banging on about.
First revealed during this week’s Nintendo Direct, Anatolia appears to be some sort of nun or bride who has left a life of matrimony and religion behind in favour of combat. She holds her magical firearm in a holster on her upper arm, meaning it’s easy to jump into the air, grasp it, and start blasting. Her appearance is instantly impactful, which explains why players are so taken with her already. I love the determined look in her eyes and how she is willing to strike down anyone who crosses her path.
Strange. I don’t remember any of the factories in our fine little corner of blighty being run by a firm called Nintendo Direct. There’s the Playing Station and the XBrewery now, though, so more of them are springing up every day. At least the people making the stuff are still folks like you and me. One of my other mates – nah, you don’t know him – he works making mods at third factory by Baldur’s Gate. He was tellin’ me they reckon they might outdo the Skyrim plant down the road soon. I know, hard to believe, but it bears thinkin’ about. After all, every record-breaking frontrunner has to fall behind a new challenger at some point, right? He gave me this leaflet by a Jasmine Gould-Wilson at GamesRadar to try and convince me.
Games that not only permit community mods but embrace them have a proven track record of success over time. Seeing Baldur’s Gate 3 achieving a cool one billion mod downloads in just three years, one of which went by without an internal modding client at all, crystallizes the power of passing the reins on to players.
Anyway, you goin’ to the footy this weekend? Slapbrough are playing Punchbridge in the derby. Should be a rowdy one. What do you mean you’re not going? Oh, you’ve gotten a bit into baseball. Is that like rounders, but with silly hats? There’s this bloke called Lenny Randle, you say? He once fought a pitcher and ended up in a spot of bother during a 10-cent beer night? Hmm. Sounds intriguing. It was your brother-in-law, that Jon Bois who says he works at a Secret Base who got you into this, eh? Can’t say I’d ever compile a history of charging the mound.
Now, it appears that there is no surviving video footage of what follows. But what I do have for you is a picture of a guy’s butt, if that’s helpful. In case you’re watching in a public space, I’ll give you a 5-second safety count off before we show it. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0, 1, -2. Butt. It belongs to a man who might well be making history, as he goes streaking across a Major League Baseball diamond and manages to escape. I’ve never heard of anybody else doing that and successfully evading apprehension. Although it’s tough to guess what his plan is once he actually gets over the fence. This feat is met with raucous cheers from an already drunk crowd that’s getting drunker by the minute. It’s only the fourth inning.
Ooh. Pure Filth. My missus would never approve of that in our house, on account of the bairns. Can’t be exposing them to any buttocks, at least not without them having the ingenuity to steal and adult’s identity first. Mine are happy with a few sweets. My son occasionally says he wants a graphics card, whatever they are, but I took some advice from this group of people I heard talking down at another pub called the Respec whenever he asks, and try to convince him what he actually wants is some choccy.
Freddos. I saw one for 37p. Shocking. 37p. I was looking this morning and when they released in the 70s they were 2p. 2p a Freddo and obviously the 10p one is the one people remember from like ‘Remember when Freddos were 10p?’ They also were two grams bigger at one point. A Freddo is a small Cadburys chocolate bar (RPS note: other chocolate bars are available) that looks like a frog. It’s not really frog-shaped as much as it’s like sort of ovalish, but has a frog drawing on it, imprinted. I go through a lot of Freddos in this house with [my] children and you can still get deals, like multipacks…[they were] at 10p from 1990 to 2005 and then it’s increased every year since. That’s Freddo’s lament. How many how many Freddos is a GeForce RTX 480?
Speaking of which, I can’t stick around here too long cos I’ve got to buy them some sweets before the shop closes. Ahhhhhh. That was some cracking whiskey. The music they’ve got on hasn’t hurt either. Now, you watch out. I heard the Shelbys are at war with this gang called the Edmondsons and are worried they might sneak in here and try to burn the place down. Don’t worry, though. I can’t see them getting in.
See you, Adrian.