As Blanco explained to Shetty, “I had to find a way to build that trust with [Gomez], not being overbearing but make it feel real and make her actually believe it and vice versa.” One specific way he does this? Reassuring her with a simple text like, “I’m going to this next thing. I’m thinking about you,” whenever they’re physically apart.
“I know what she needs to succeed, so I’m going to help her succeed,” Blanco added. “She wants to talk to me before she goes to bed, she wants me to say, ‘I love you,’ she wants me to text her if I wind up having to stay somewhere two hours late.” It may not sound like much, but intentional gestures like these can really make a person feel safer and more supported.
3. Expressing your love through thoughtful, personalized gestures.
Of course, Blanco’s bougie bathtub filled with queso isn’t exactly in the cards for us regular folks. But the couple continues to prove that showing love doesn’t require you to go big or spend large. Because Gomez isn’t a “flowers girl,” for instance, the Open Wide: A Cookbook for Friends author skipped the traditional Valentine’s Day bouquet and spoiled her with something more meaningful: fried pickles, her favorite snack. He even admitted to having a friend from Vegas bring him separate ingredients to make Gomez a Whataburger (“It is my favorite in Texas,” she explained on The Tonight Show), since the fast food chain isn’t available in California. And what’s more heartwarming than knowing you’ve got a soulmate who pays attention to the tiny details that make you, you?
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4. Reframing conflict as opportunities for growth.
“Conflict” doesn’t exactly sound like something anyone wants in their relationship. However, Blanco and Gomez have a refreshingly mature way of handling rough patches. Rather than argue, “I feel like we just have conversations,” Blanco said on Shetty’s podcast.
As SELF previously reported, romantic success isn’t about never disagreeing but tackling hurdles as a team. For some couples, that might involve using “I” statements to communicate your frustrations, becoming a more empathetic listener, or giving each other space. “[Gomez] will go, ‘I’m feeling a little irritated, and I need 25 minutes,’” explained Blanco, who’s happy to give her that time.
5. Respecting each other’s boundaries and personal space.
Being codependent isn’t a positive thing, since it’s important to maintain your independence and tend to your other relationships too. At the same time, though, you understandably don’t want a dynamic in which you’re barely seeing or talking with each other.
Navigating that sweet spot can be tough, but Blanco and Gomez seem to have found the perfect balance. “I don’t have to be on top of her every second. She doesn’t have to be on top of me every second we’re together,” Blanco told Shetty. “We’re both highly independent people, but we’re both little mushes who need to be attached at the hip.”
6. Making it a point to appreciate each other every single day.
Especially in long-term relationships, it’s easy to accidentally take your SO for granted. However, Blanco makes sure his fiancée knows just how much she means to him: “I want her to know that every day, I don’t take anything for granted,” he told Shetty. “Last night, we were in the pool…and I was just like, you’re so beautiful. And I don’t mean that just physically. You can feel it—there’s a ring, an aura around her that exudes warmth.”